My girlfriend broke up with me about a month ago. We had been together for over 2 years. Her reason was that she had been thinking about our relationship and she said that she just does not love me anymore. God that hurts! She told me that after we gave it some time we could try dating again. But she also told me not to get my hopes up about things changing. For one, how do you not get your hope up about that? Now about a week ago I find out that she has a new bf. She swore up and down that he had nothing to do with her decision. She told me this when we broke up. She would randomly call me to see how I was and just to talk. She said that she really wants us to be friends because I am the one that her heart and soul confided in and that she felt safest with. I am trying to get over this but I keep randomly having dreams about her and me. Then I will have dreams about her and him. I just don't know what to do anymore. I have a hard time in school because I am thinking about her. I bought a truck to keep my mind off of her but the weather and money is keeping me from really being able to work on it like I would want to. People have told me that all of this will get better in time but really nothing has changed in a month. To some people a month isn't long but this has been THE LONGEST month of my life! I just really need some advise! By the way she hasn't even told her mother about her new relationship. She had to find out by looking on Facebook! Her mother adored me and wants us back together because she sees that I was amazing to her. I gave her all that she wanted and then some. I just don't understand why girls do these things? Please just peoples inputs would help if there is no advise to be given. Thanks Yall!
For one She may have been telling you the truth about the other guy not being part of her decision. But she gave you a hint that you need to move on when she told you not to get your hopes up. I suggest you do just that. if it means that you have to be mad at her to get over her then do so to yourself. Get out and have fun with the guys. Stop wasting your time on this girl. She obviously does not plan to become involved with you again so it is better to find other things to occupy your time. I am not saying this to be mean but reality has to overcome your fantasy. Time will heal your heart. A month is not all that long especially if you have been with her for any length of time. Accept her friendship for now and leave it at that. If you do not feel you can at this time be friends without pain then tell her as much and you be the one to cut the ties completely. Good Luck. Many things are going to remind you of her. All of that is normal. Just allow yourself time to heal.
Alright here's some advice for ya from a 30 year old married guy whos had a fair share of relationships and been broken hearted to the point I couldn't even eat anymore. Right now you wont understand this, but take it for what it is. Just be happy she was honest with you, and appreciate that. Trust me, it would have been wayyyyyyyyyyyy harder if she would have faked her love for you and strung you along for a few years and cheated on you the whole time. Just think of it like this, you came out of this unscaved in that aspect, and enjoy the freedom you have of finding someone new and all the excitement that will come along with that!!!! Doors are open now my friend, take advantage of it!!!!!!!!! And when it comes to remaining friends, GENERALLY women have an easier time with that, guys just get all worked up and their mind screws them royally everytime they talk to the ex who still wants to be 'friends'. Since yer obviously still attached to her, you need to CUT THE TIES and move on completely or there will be a slow, agonizing pain situation. Just my opinion, and most guys will tell you the same. Please take this advice, or you're gonna end up wiggin' out trust me.
How do I just cut the ties? We share alot of friends. Plus how can you just close someone out of your life completely when you have given them so much of it? Yall have to remember I am only 19 years old and 2 years may not seem like a long time to some of yall but that is 1/10th of my life that I gave her.
Well, I understand how it's hard just to throw away someone who has been an important aspect to you in your life, but there's two options. If she is that important to you, then you need to muster up the strength to remain 'friends' on that non-relationship level. Which means, if she has moved on with her heart, you are going to have to deal with the fact you may be hanging out with her and her new boyfriend, or whomever she chooses on that level. If you can handle that, and all the things that will be running through your mind when it involves the new boyfriend who is going to be sharing all those things that go along with being more than friends, (and it wont be you this time), more power to ya man. There was a deep true friendship there in the first place. But it WILL NEVER WORK, if the two involved in the relationship have not moved on past each other when it comes being 'more than friends'. If she has moved on, and you're living in the past wanting her back the way it was, it will be easier to just write her off and move on. Even if she is playing some sort of game right now, please don't give her the benefit and chase her down, making yourself look weak. Either hang out with your buds and do all the fun guy stuff, or find a new girl who makes you happy, and let it progress. You may find yourself happier than ever if it's the right one, and who knows, the girl you're sweatin over may realize that she 'all of a sudden' wants you back. It's funny how that works sometimes, but even if that's the case, stay strong and DONT CAVE IN! Show your strength, it will be your best friend in the world...
1. i went through the same situation....2 yrs in a relationship....we had baby names picked out and wedding dates in mind...broke up at 19....loved her...she wanted to make sure that what we had was wat she wanted...kinda set it free if it comes back its meant to be...i havent talked to her in over a year...and now im fine with that.... 2. its gonna suck if u dont get out and have fun with ur buds or other chicks....i waited almost 5 months....sittin inside...starin at her pics...thinkin of the past....passin up goin out with friends.....the moment i started doin stuff i felt so much better 3. CUT ALL TIES....throw away all pics..take her number out of the phone....drive on the oppsite side of town....dont look for her....she will move on sooner.....and it will hurt even more to see that....u cannot just be friends with someone after uve dated....it will not work 4...the guy was part of her decision....if he wasnt there she wouldnt have second guessed ur relationship....o well...tough luck....now u know htere is no chance in goin back so there is no point in thinkin about it..... 5. im only 20 but i know where u are cuz ive been there.... good luck in movin on...its hard...but its possible...and trust me...there is always someone better...u just have to look
most of whats been said cant be more true. heres the facts (however hard they may be to take in) in her heart, she doesnt feel for you the way she did. if what shes saying about this guy not having a part in her decision is true, she wont be coming back, she has moved on and probably has been moving on in her mind while u guys were together. if shes lying, and the guy was her reason, than she messed up, because when that guy drops her on her ass, shes gonna realize she messed up and u have to decide at that point if thats the kind of girl you want in your life...all feelings aside...if someone that could toss you aside like you dont matter for another guy is worth keeping around. In all honesty, keeping busy is your best option, sounds like you were deeply in love with her, moving on to another girl prob wont fix anything, it will more than likely make you more emotional than a girl on her period (sorry ladies, best way i could think of to describe it) The truck was a good start, def get out with your guys friends more...do the things that you had been saying you wish you were able to do for the past 2 years but couldnt because you were with her. I was on the other side. in february i got out of a 2 year relationship with my girl, i had simply just lost feelings for her...but it was a long hard road in the begining with me giving my all and her giving nothing back to me...so that when she finally realized she loved me, i had given up. but i doubt this is the case. she may just not have been ready for something as serious as you guys had...the same way people get cold feet at a wedding, sometimes the thought of spending the rest of your life with one person can mess with ya. as was said. it hard, but you will move on, not cuz you want to, cuz you have to. and there is always someone better. No break ups are bad unless you dont learn from them. take a minute to look at your relationship, think about the lesson you should have learned from it, and apply that knowledge down the line, you will thank yourself for it cuz ultimately, it will make you a better person. best of luck man, and if ya need to chat, im only an IM away - Ls1xmike
See the whole thing is that she HAS stayed friends with all of her exs. So she expects me to do the same. On Facebook she has put on there that she misses her friend, the one her heart and soul confided in and the one she felt safest with. She was talking about me. I am doing this to make her happy, but I know that if I even see her new boyfriend I will wig out. I have not been hanging out with our friends so that I don't even have the chance to see him. I want her to be happy but at the same time I have to look out for myself. I have never been able to be friends with any of my exs except for one which I gave up that friendship because my ex felt VERY threatened by her. I know I need to move on because I know I want her back but I also know that taking her back once she realizes what a good thing she had will not be the best choice for me.
Dude move on!! Really!! Don't let yourself be made a fool of. You said she has another man. There are so many great women out there and there's one for you but you have to go and find her. SEVER ALL TIES!!
Alright I did it. I just hope she doesn't hate me for doing this. I just got through removing her from my friends list on facebook and myspace. Along with a few of her really close friends and her mother, which by the way moved me. God I didn't think that this was going to be so hard! Thank yall for all of the advise. This has been the hardest thing for me to do. Should I tell her that I am not going to be able to be friends with her and leave things on a civilized note or should I not even say anything?
Well first off, thank you for making the right decision cuz I really hate when people keep making mistakes and crying about it when they had the power to choose their own path. My personal advice would be not to say anything. Silence is golden, and with all of this you show how strong you really are. Like I said before, your strength will be your greatest asset with this, and most anything you'll ever encounter in life. Just take your next step forward, and live your life without the person who threw you away. It's not going to be easy, and your mind will play many tricks on you, but when you come out unscaved by enjoying time with your good friends, or that new hottie you will meet, you will look back and be very happy you made the right decision. Dude, there's just so many hot girls out there, and since you're still young and not tied down yet, PLEASE take advantage of that and have a responsible, but AWESOME time doing so! Thumbs up man, yer headed into the right direction!
Thanks man! That was the hardest thing that I think that I have ever had to do. I am about to go and work on my truck because I know if I stay on here much longer my mind will play tricks on me. It already has for about the last month. Thanks again for all of yalls advise it has helped out so much already! Yall are amazing!
glad we could help, I really had to step into this situation cuz ive been in your same shoes multiple times lol. Go work on that truck and stay strong, and one more thing, DONT be afraid to talk to the hottest looking girl in the bar, cuz most likely she's NOT taken, and maybe even feels insecure cuz no guys talk to her cuz the're afraid to. Be that guy that steps up, and you may end up really really happy! If not, move on to the next one! Good luck!
yeah i know what u mean bro my gf broke up with me today too. this month is national save the tatas but break the hearts month or what?
I guess so man. I am sorry to hear about that. Just listen to these guys if you need any advise and I'm here to tell you that they REALLY do know what they are talking about.
Look at the bright side...at least you weren't married to her and she left with half of your stuff Time heals all wounds man.
