I feel like I've only been living and breathing the last 20 years of my life. My life experiences are all too few, maybe due to the lack of friendships/companionship's/relationships. I have social anxiety, so that doesn't help matters. I think much of that has stemmed from the crappy relationship I have with my father as well as my disability. I grew up struggling to fit in everywhere I went, and I still do. I hang out with myself, work on my cars myself, drive around with myself, it's pretty pathetic.

I'm a genuine person and I'm easy to get along with. I'm a decent looking guy. I used to run foot races. I'm not missing limbs or anything. I don't do drugs, I only drink socially, I don't smoke. Pretty sure I'm not crazy. What's wrong with me?

I'm one of 7 siblings, we should be close, but I feel distanced. I love my nieces and nephews to death. I don't know what I would do without them. They are a very important part of my life.

I'm lonely and I just don't get why. I hate admitting that. I've made friends and lost them, or they've just turned into people that I know of. I don't want this to be boo hoo wah wah, but I'm just empty and looking for positive insight. I'm sick of keeping it in my head.

 

I first want to say to you thanks for being real. It takes guts to open up like this and I respect you a lot for doing so. It can be a fine line in this life or in our own personal ones that can turn us from being optomistic to feeling lonely or out of touch with what we may idealize as being fulfilled. There have been times when I have felt quite lonely and others when I feel OK. Circumstances and various things contribute to where we are "at". I am willing to discuss with you on a more personal level. If you so desire, PM me with your email and I will get back to you. I do have some possitive insight on this. Hang in there....from what I have observed many people we see who seem so "happy" or "together" will have their moments too...and I think there are a lot of people with that question on their mind: "what is wrong with me"....

 

Thanks for sharing... like Mike said, it takes a real person to honestly express how they are feeling. I'm sorry you have had so much trouble with this. I wouldnt look at it from the point of view that its because of something you did.

If you are in an area that would allow you to come to a get together, I would highly suggest you try to come. We are all like family and instantly accept anyone! We are always happy to meet new people and add to our extended family.
I've gone through times like you have described, and just know that they never last. I know it seems like they will, but they dont.
I know its not quite they same, but you have friends here on this site! No matter what is going on, we are always here to talk to.
And you are also more than welcome to PM me any time you want to talk... I can get you my email and phone number as well.

Also, look in the events section... there is a reunion in Canada this June, and I know that Jason, Glenn, Mase, and myself are planning on going to. Dont know how far that is for you, but if its relatively close, you should try to go. Or maybe G15?

 

I was born with the gift of gab. I can get along with most anyone at anytime. I always fit into all the cliques and have always been relatively popular and well liked. That being said I can count my friends on one hand. I have alot of "buddies" but none of them are even close to being a true friend. Those are lifes gems. I have never met a person on here but I do talk with him and what not and I would consider him a true friend. In fact I find that there are several people on here that have great attributes towards building that friendship. I guess it is why I hang around so much