I dont know what to do. I need advice and have no one to talk to about a SERIOUS problem Ive been having with my family. Specifically my brother.

My brother, who is 28 now, moved out to Texas a 3 or so years ago with his girlfriend who he had been with since they were in high school. They finally wound up breaking up and she moved back here to NH and he hooked up with a chick that he had met down there and they got an apartment and lived together for awhile. Well, she wound up cheating on him with one of his friends and they broke up. He flew down to my mothers place in Florida and is currently living with her.

Ever since the break up he has been so depressed. And Im talking suicide threats and everything. He wont go out and do anything, he wont talk on the phone. He doesnt talk to me or my sister. My mother says all he does is sleep and cry. My mother has brought him to the ER. They wont do anything for him. She has paid money out of her pocket to take him to several different therapists and he just liesto them when he gets there and says he's fine and theres nothing wrong and they believe him. But as soon as he gets home he starts talking about suicide and how he doesnt want to live anymore. And all that crap. There's nothing like the sound and feeling of hearing your brother cry and saying he doesnt want to live and not being able to do a damn thing about it. And Im scared, my mother is scared.

My father was a Marine in Vietnam. Served two tours from 68-72. And he had 100% PTSD from his service there and he killed himself when I was 18. So I have no doubts that my brother might actually take his life. I feel like jumping in my truck and driving down to Florida to get him but I know that it wont do anything and that he wont let me help him, not that I know how. My mother has pretty much thought of everything that I have. She tried getting him committed for a pysch evaluation also but they doctors wont even take him. They just say he doesnt need it. AND IM SO PISSED! Ive heard the saying that you cant help someone that doesnt want to be helped and all that crap but he's obviously not in a rational state of mind.

WHAT DO I DO???????????????????????????????????!!!!

How can I get my brother help before I lose him????

 

Thanks for all the advice and responses. I feel like an idiot now pouring my heart out to you guys and not getting one single reply. Thanks for all the help z28.com.


Just delete my thread. And my account. I wont be coming back.

 

My advice is go down there. I dont care if you think it wont help or not, you need to get down there and give your brother some support and and dont take no for an answer. He will end up breaking down and talking to you about it.

 

johnny this obviously a touchy subject, but i think yall need to get him out of the house and back on his feet! im sorrry your having trouble i dont think there are many people that have been put in this state, so its hard to give an answer, i would get the fam together and just tell em you love him!

 

Activity on the site is way low brother! I am just now seeing this only because there were posts on it that caught my attention.

I know how ya feel about it, been there done that and I have a few t-shirts. The best thing that she can do for him is to Baker Act him. All she has to do is call the law and tell them he is a threat to himself and her and they will take him to the nearest mental health facility for evaluation where they hold him for 72 hours. Sad to say it but it is the ONLY way to get it done in Floirida, you have seen what the other avenues present and it is not much and they really don't acknowledge after it is too late either.

 

Sorry Jonny. I honesty think you should go down to Florida and support your brother. Somebody has to give him a reason to live. Talk to him in person. I know you are hurting pretty bad. If I had read this earlier, I would have posted up. Please give us an update when you can.

 

I agree with the others Brother. I think you need to be there and he needs a reason to live. I have to ask, does he believe in God and is he saved? If not, he needs to be introduced to Jesus and be told Jesus loves him just how he is.

 

Jonny get back on here and talk to us about this bro!! Dont leave us guessing when it comes to serious stuff like this.

I know how he feels man, depression sucks. Its a really common illness that people live with their whole lives. It takes one trigger to set it off into the deep end. The best way to get him back on track is to BE THERE FOR HIM NO MATTER WHAT AT ALL TIMES DAY OR NIGHT. When I was going through a rough patch for about 2 years I bottled all my issues up and would explode on my loved ones and then retain it all again and again and blow up every 6 months or so. Well that was 2006 and this is now, I express all my emotions to others and dont bottle that SH$$ up at all and even though people think I am more of a dick, I am happier. Its a trade off, but its saving my sanity so to speak! And dont be afraid to let him cry this out and you too, this is beyond "manliness" its saving a human life. Take the suicide talk seriously. If he is talking about it, he is thinking about it, so just allow him to open up to you or anyone and get the pain out. If he starts to pull away from everyone just know that is normal. If he all the sudden is 100% better then you need to intervene ASAP, he is considering something horrible.
Tell him or copy paste this in an email that he can email me @ [email][email protected][/email] anytime and I will talk with him being someone who has gone thru a very dark deep depression that pushed me into self destructing for 2 solid years!! Almost to the point of the unthinkable.

Bro we are always here for you, you know we are!!!!! The same goes for anyone reading this who isn't even a member!!!

 

I wish I'd come on here more often...I would have responded with something...I just saw this now. Sold my car and just pop in from time to time not even thinking of visiting this page until today...Dang! Now Jonny isn't even here to read this. PM me if you do come back. It will show up in my personal email. (I Will be on a little holiday from July22-26) This is not an easy one to respond to and those who would just did not see it.....in time. Please give people here some time to respond, less than 24 hours is kinda short. I for instance come here maybe once a week at times. So Sorry I hope you and your brother are doing ok.

 

Get him to a VA facility that can correctly diagnose him and set up a comprehensive treatment plan!!! ASAP

 

Still thinking of you and your family bro!

 

Johnny,

as people are saying the site traffic is alot slower than what it use to be, so please dont take offense that you didnt get a quick reply bro. We are still here for you. Like everyone else said it would be good to get down there and just be there for him. things like this take time. He needs healthy interaction from loved ones. Positive interactions are important. Also he he needs to be in touch with Jesus as well, he heals all.


Try to send a PM/Email or get in touch with Rick, (Ryatt-Motion). I think he has medical training in the this field and maybe able to help.


I hope you havent written us off due to a slow response to this thread bro.

 

Same here I don't know u but for sure wasn't just ignoreing or not caring. I hope you do read this and and see how this forum is like a inner family alot of good people here. Ur just upset bro that's all calm Down and keep talking to use. I'll even give u my number if u want someone just to listen and not say anything . Again just calm down we do care and are here for u if u need us.

 

Oh man... I didn't even realize we had this thread...

And I know that Johnny's problem was way back, but here's what I'd offer, should he come back.

Lost my baby sister to suicide back in June. She'd been tore up from a medical procedure she had ten years prior, which over time lead to major health issues... that left her physically incapable of caring for herself. When Dad passed, a year and a half earlier, she took it really hard and leaned on our middle sister and myself for way too long.

When her husband of ten years told her he wanted a divorce that was all she could handle, leaving us a quick good by e-mail and shooting herself in the head; ironically with the pistol she stole from my Dad to keep him from doing the same when he was going through hard times.

Any-who... There isn't a thing you can do to stop someone from killing themselves, Johnny.

What you CAN do, is to let them know that you love them, that their life is intrinsically tied to your own, and that by killing themselves, they will leave you alone, to suffer without their counsel, love and affection. If possible, keep them engaged without lending any credence to the idea that suicide is an option. By engaging them into your life; which is to say leaning on THEM, dragging THEM into YOUR LIFE... asking for THEIR ADVICE... Letting them know that YOU NEED THEM, then perhaps the feelings of worthlessness and self pity will dry up, when they see that you need them. Believe me, you do. When they're gone, they are GONE and it leaves a hole in ya brother.

I am ashamed to report that I did not follow that advice. I did the opposite, pulling away from my sister... hoping that she'd be less dependent upon me. Big mistake.

I'm not blaming myself for her death. That was her call... Frankly I'm still surprised by it, as I never honestly figured her for a suicide. But she had other plans.

Anyway, It seems you've moved on. Hopefully if you return, this finds you well, with Brother doing well, having realized that the rejection of one gal isn't the scope of what defines him.

I am praying for you even as I write this...

Best regards,
Mike
OVA1

 

Is Johhny even around anymore??? Whats the status bro? We are still here. I actually think of this thread and how you say you are done with us!? That makes me feel bad honestly. Get back to us please.