When somebody asks for help or advice on something, and you take the time to do what they need or explain things, and afterwards they don't even bother to thank you for it?

When somebody asks for help, and I go out of my way for them and they don't say thankyou, it makes me think things like: "your time and effort is worthless," "you're not important enough to bother with," "they could care less about you, but only what they can get from you."

The only thing I can figure, is that some people must think that the earth revolves around them and everybody in it must not have anything better to do than help them further their cause? Either way, not being appreciated for the things you do for people is a really crummy feeling, and sucks hardcore.

Rant off.

 

been there and done that.........unfortunatly it made me into a hard hearted person in some cases and its hard for me to trust anyone anymore

 

I understand EXACTLY how you feel. It sucks that people can be cruel and un-human.

I have a lot of respect for you Rob. You are one of the best people I have interacted with on here. Keep on keepin on and it will all work out in the end, when it truelly matters.

 

lol... well i know ive asked you for a LOT (i dont think i can stress that to everyone else here) of help and advice rob.. im hopin im not the one whos so inconsiderate.. im pretty sure you know how thankful i am... i hope lol

 

It is not right but you should not let that make you not help agian. Just because one person is rude it does nto mean the next one will be.

I have been burned many times like this but still I am willing to bend over backwards for people. I guess it is just my nature to help. Or maybe it is my calling, wahtever it is even if they do not thank me I feel good that I could help.

 

yup i know that feeling.....I helped a buddy build his house in the winter( he didnt start tell fall) If i wasnt at work i as at his house helping......let me tell ya ....my wife was pissed. then if i didnt go out and help like on a saturday he bitched to are friends that i didnt show up ( their like hes doing it for free so you need to chill) long story short after the house was built I NEVER GOT ONE THANKS . And when I was moving to a new house i asked for help.....AND well im to busy t help i have a moto this weekend

 

Or when you help someone out of many huge things (over the years) and then when life is good for them, pfft, you're gone. That's a nice feeling...

 

I knew i had a twin somewhere...

 

thats EXACTLY how i feel. i hardly trust ANYONE i meet. i have 1 person i confide in. i tell her absolutely everything, and im confident i can trust her with anything. my gf is a bit jealous when i tell her things though... but then again, i'd be upset if my gf talked with some other guy instead of me... my gf doesnt know that i talk to her to the extent that i do. i sometimes find it hard to trust my gf... i know i NEED to trust her, but sometimes she gives me good reasons not to.

example: she told one of her friends (who likes to talk) some of the stuff we do together (more private stuff). now i have no idea who all knows or anything. i hate uncontrolled stuff...

</rant>

 

I have a guy in my group who got a Z not too long ago. I kind of took him under my wing and taught him. Every summer I do new stuff to the Z of course and I show him what I did and how I did it. He asks for all these details how to do it etc... and then just walks away lol. I'm like wtf man, you just want answers? But he doesn't want to do the work. I've helped him with some basic mods and steered him away from the cheap crappy gimmicks. He'll pick my brain all day, and then he basically shuts off out of know where it's real weird, like a little kiod since I start talking about my stuff it's "boring." So basically to myself I feel like telling him to go **************** himself. I used to spend a lot of time telling him everything, the whole breakdown but now I'll just causually mention what I did, not describing the anything.

My point is people like that are very self centered their not worth the time. I spent a lot of time under the car with him teaching him the ropes and I never got a thank you or some sort of acknowledgement. Doesn't bother me, but I don't go out of my way to help him anymore.

 

Yikes, I hope that does not pertain to me, because I asked you for help and you went out of your way to help me, and I don't know if I ever thanked you?? If I didn't I sincerely apologize and want to publicly say that you are the man as far as polishing goes and if it had not been for you, I would still be in a world of poop with my CME. I still need to get with you on getting some stuff done on my 67.

 

Rob, I think we've all been in the same situation - helped someone and no appreciation. What not to do: Let their lack of social graces and their ignorance make you feel inadequate or that you have no value, like you're not important enough. They are the ones with the problems. Nothing worse than asking/getting help and then not acknowledging the other person's time and effort.

 

Stuff like that happened to my dad all the time. Lots of people in our town thought he was a complete asshole b/c he had a temper and would let people know, without a doubt, exactly what he thought of them. It wasn't so much that he was an asshole as much as it was there were that many people in our town who had screwed him over and b/c our town has nothing better to do than gossip, the people who screwed him over and suffered his temper then went and told all their friends what an asshole he was. TOTALLY unfair and hardcore WRONG.

My dad was a great man with a heart of gold and would go out of his way to help ANYONE. Example: When my best friend's family's business was going under and the gas company (who my dad worked for) came out and shut their gas off, my dad risked his job to go out there and turn it back on so they would have just a little more time to try to make ends meet. They, unlike so many others, were always very appreciative and very good to me in return. My dad worked 60-70 weeks most weeks and when he wasn't working he was helping someone else with a project for free, so often that he died before he had the chance to finish his own house. It always pissed my mom off to no end, and used to hurt me a great deal b/c he was never home, but now I understand...b/c I'm just like him.

My dad held a lot of grudges and it made him angry a lot of the time. The best thing to do is to just let it go, understand that the person who screwed you over is nothing but a self-centered, worthless pile of horse ****************, and go on about your business.

 

I know exaclty how you feel. BTW, may I say this in advance..... Thank you... I am sure I will be asking you for some help, I have some big plans coming up here soon.

 

A true, giving heart will help people without expecting anything in return. Even a thank you. Suck it up and move on.

 

OUCH! That is a bit harsh and uncalled for.

 

Partly true...BUT, when you really go out of your way to help some one and they blow you off............ IT SUCKS!!!!!!! I know exactly what he's talking about. You do everything you can for someone. Bend over backwards. Stop everything your doing to help them. And they dont even acknowledge you??? Makes you feel like crap!!! but worse!!!!!!!!!!!

 

It might seem harsh, but its true. When doing something for someone else, if you are doing it to be kind/helpful you dont turn around and EXPECT a thank you.... you accept it IF one was given. If you dont recieve a thank you, its nothing to be angry about because you should be happy you helped someone, not helping them just so you can get their praise.

 

So, your telling me, if you were in a situation where you were in the same shoes as Rob, that you wouldnt feel the tiniest bit upset? If thats the case, then you arent human, bevcause that is just human nature.

AND, I also think it Lyle A's comment was unappropriate and uncalled for. Especially coming from a mod. Ob has every right to be upset. Anyone does when they are used. If you guys dont have anything nice to say, then dont say anything at all. "Let him who is without sin cast the first stone."

 

Who's casting stones? I was just stating a simple truth. I'm sorry if it seems harsh but we all have to deal with difficulties in life and difficult people. I'd gladly give away my problems. Instead, I just suck it up and move on. It's true for me as much as anyone else.